Showing posts with label Europe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Europe. Show all posts
26 February 2007
Differences
OK so here is what I am thinking. Being this American in a nation of Europe. I thoroughly enjoy seeing my country from this stand point. I mean really, can you see the whole picture when you are just a fraction of it? No, of course not. That's why non Americans know more about America than the Americans. And whether you like to admit it or not, they really do. Now, I didn't always like it, seeing what others saw about my country. I wasn't exactly gun ho about my country but it's mine and well you always have certain patriotism to it. Sitting on this side looking in made me see a lot I didn't like. It showed me a side I hadn't known existed to the extent that it does. But being has I have seen this point of view for some time now I have gotten used to it. I am not surprised as much as I used to be. Talking to my mother and other people about how after five years of having a residence permit here I can go for my citizenship I have come to a really big conclusion. I will give it up and become Dutch when I can. I will no longer be considered American when that time comes. I will be a Dutch National. And I tell you, it isn't as scary of a decision as I thought it would be. It actually seems fairly simple. When you factor the reasons why I will do this it seems almost funny that I pondered it for so long because every time I did I came to the same conclusion. OK. Let’s go here for a second. In my own country I cannot marry as I want. I cannot bring my partner. I know what you’re thinking; I am making this decision based on just this. Of course not. Though if your country said you were wrong and you weren't normal and had no rights wouldn't you feel just as disgusted? I think you would. Americans have a money hungry, power driven president who really doesn't care for the good of the people. Rather he thinks with power and money. Americans (whether you admit it or not) live in a place where, yes, your media is censored. I hear about things you don't. I have asked family and friends, have you heard about this? Or did you hear about that? And they go no, what? I would have more protections under Dutch and European law than I would in my own country. If I get my citizenship I can live anywhere in the European Union without question just as US people can move state to state. If I intend on living my days with my woman in this nation then why keep ties to a country I have no intention of living in again? What is the point? Do you see one that I am not? I know right now I am only going for my permit. And when I get it I will be able to function in this nation almost like everyone else. When my five years come up I can go for my citizenship and function just as any other national here. Why not want that? I talk to my father and he says to me, the Dutch can do that? How does that work? Would that work here? Of course it would, just the American Government wont try it. Whatever the case is the answers are the same. The American Government won’t do it unless it benefits the Government and it doesn't matter if it would benefit the people. What exactly is the point of this post? I don't think I have one.
Culture Differences
When I first landed in the Netherlands to say I was taken a back was an understatement. Just the look is different to what I know in America. Being to several states and living in a few I can tell you, most of it looks all the same. Sure we have mountainous areas, deserts, forests and crop fields but when you get to the rural areas and cities, aside from the occasional building that stands out, really it looks all the same. The streets I was now walking on were cleaner and the endless cobs of wires hanging over our heads for power, phone and whatever else we can think of was no where in sight. It was all under my feet with dirt and brick covering it all nice and neat. I know places like California does this but where I from in New York, that isn't the case. Side walks was another thing, they were everywhere! Bike paths, side walks and the road flows nicely side by side with rules for each to follow for all to live in relative harmony. I mean, since bicycles are a major mode of transportation here they had to do something right? In North Babylon side walks are scarce, reverting to walking along side the road or on someone’s lawn. But this is all just the look of the Netherlands verses America. Every country looks different with things that make them who they are. It's also the culture that's extremely different.
In the first months that I was here I was getting one eye opener after another. You see stories on the news here that you have seen in America but it seems so different. It isn't censored! They tell the whole story for what it is. So I was getting larger amounts of facts I hadn't living in America. To say the least it was a large pill to swallow. You know that the media can be corrupt and people want things covered a certain way but really, this much! Whole stories I couldn't find on any news station or news paper there I was finding here and it was on my own country. I know Americans like to think they aren't, that their government and media, for the most part, is fair and just. I was just such an American. That's why it was so hard to take. Yet it wasn't only the television that was uncensored here. The people were just as demanding to know and open as the television in front of me.
Take for example what I as an American goes through with living with a father. I get my period and need tampons, now I am in pain and don't really want to go out but he is so I ask him. First off, squirms at the thought. Looks at me like I asked him to walk on the moon but says OK. I tell him what I need and off he goes. He is so mortified by the experience of buying a product that is as natural to use for women as toilet paper that he tosses them my way and informs me to never ask again; beet red and shy to even discuss it. Why? Any woman in his life has or is going through this and he is by no means the only man who acts this way. Most men in America will not do this for their women or if they do they are so shy and mortified by the experience they want to hide when they get to the counter. Yet here if a woman needs that very same product, they ask what and get it. Now sure there are a few who squirm a little but for the most part they see it as natural as toilet paper and tissues.
I was at my mother in laws house one weekend and I wanted to weigh myself. Of course you are down to your underwear and wait what the digital numbers are going to say. Now while I am in this process of torture my mother in law walks in the room! I have a thong on and nothing more and she starts talking and looking at the scale as though it was perfectly fine! My skin and weight number are now in her line of sight and she keeps talking! Is this right I ask? Do they really do that!? My partner looks at me like I am the odd ball because, well, I am. A body is just a body I am told. She has the same stuff I do just a little more used. And my weight? Well that’s just a number right. Good god! I think I have seen my mother naked once in all my life, at least that I can recall. Nudity is shown on the television because after all, its just a body. Can you see what I am getting at. Americans are prudes. We really are. We are sheltered little beings that are taught that Modesty means not even your own mother sees you naked and God forbid we discuss the facts of life in a calm manner without anyone turning ten shades of red. The Dutch are direct and honest. They are open and tolerant, at least on the outside. Americans don't know what tolerance means and being direct and honest is a trait so few have now a day. We beat around the bush with beautiful flowers in our hands in hopes of hiding the hideous truth. Why?
Now I know not all Americans are like this just as not all the Dutch are this way. But majority are and the differences in just the few examples I have given are vast. The world I now live in has changed me. I am more comfortable in my own skin, I blurt out what I think, most of the time, and the stupid things we get shy about I look at and go so what. Some say Americans are weak and intolerant. They are prude and shallow. Now, being an American, I would have disagreed, totally and completely. But now. That's a different story.
When you step outside your world and see it from someone else point of view, I mean really have an open heart and mind to see what they see, and you will learn about yourself and where you are from. I have learned so much about America by simply not being in it. And maybe that is the case with other people and other nations, I don't know, but I know this is the case for me. I know that, for me, they were right. We can be very shallow, opinionated with not much to really say. We are prudish and shy about the simplest of human natures. Sex, menstruation and other issues don't get talked about much. We don't go into detail because it's too private. Well if we don't talk about it in a public way what makes you think people talk about it in private? We don't talk about the intolerance and the weakness in ourselves. We don't talk about the 'secrets' in society. What exactly do we talk about?
This is just my thought on just a few things I see as an American outside in Europe. I could go on, but that would mean a book!
In the first months that I was here I was getting one eye opener after another. You see stories on the news here that you have seen in America but it seems so different. It isn't censored! They tell the whole story for what it is. So I was getting larger amounts of facts I hadn't living in America. To say the least it was a large pill to swallow. You know that the media can be corrupt and people want things covered a certain way but really, this much! Whole stories I couldn't find on any news station or news paper there I was finding here and it was on my own country. I know Americans like to think they aren't, that their government and media, for the most part, is fair and just. I was just such an American. That's why it was so hard to take. Yet it wasn't only the television that was uncensored here. The people were just as demanding to know and open as the television in front of me.
Take for example what I as an American goes through with living with a father. I get my period and need tampons, now I am in pain and don't really want to go out but he is so I ask him. First off, squirms at the thought. Looks at me like I asked him to walk on the moon but says OK. I tell him what I need and off he goes. He is so mortified by the experience of buying a product that is as natural to use for women as toilet paper that he tosses them my way and informs me to never ask again; beet red and shy to even discuss it. Why? Any woman in his life has or is going through this and he is by no means the only man who acts this way. Most men in America will not do this for their women or if they do they are so shy and mortified by the experience they want to hide when they get to the counter. Yet here if a woman needs that very same product, they ask what and get it. Now sure there are a few who squirm a little but for the most part they see it as natural as toilet paper and tissues.
I was at my mother in laws house one weekend and I wanted to weigh myself. Of course you are down to your underwear and wait what the digital numbers are going to say. Now while I am in this process of torture my mother in law walks in the room! I have a thong on and nothing more and she starts talking and looking at the scale as though it was perfectly fine! My skin and weight number are now in her line of sight and she keeps talking! Is this right I ask? Do they really do that!? My partner looks at me like I am the odd ball because, well, I am. A body is just a body I am told. She has the same stuff I do just a little more used. And my weight? Well that’s just a number right. Good god! I think I have seen my mother naked once in all my life, at least that I can recall. Nudity is shown on the television because after all, its just a body. Can you see what I am getting at. Americans are prudes. We really are. We are sheltered little beings that are taught that Modesty means not even your own mother sees you naked and God forbid we discuss the facts of life in a calm manner without anyone turning ten shades of red. The Dutch are direct and honest. They are open and tolerant, at least on the outside. Americans don't know what tolerance means and being direct and honest is a trait so few have now a day. We beat around the bush with beautiful flowers in our hands in hopes of hiding the hideous truth. Why?
Now I know not all Americans are like this just as not all the Dutch are this way. But majority are and the differences in just the few examples I have given are vast. The world I now live in has changed me. I am more comfortable in my own skin, I blurt out what I think, most of the time, and the stupid things we get shy about I look at and go so what. Some say Americans are weak and intolerant. They are prude and shallow. Now, being an American, I would have disagreed, totally and completely. But now. That's a different story.
When you step outside your world and see it from someone else point of view, I mean really have an open heart and mind to see what they see, and you will learn about yourself and where you are from. I have learned so much about America by simply not being in it. And maybe that is the case with other people and other nations, I don't know, but I know this is the case for me. I know that, for me, they were right. We can be very shallow, opinionated with not much to really say. We are prudish and shy about the simplest of human natures. Sex, menstruation and other issues don't get talked about much. We don't go into detail because it's too private. Well if we don't talk about it in a public way what makes you think people talk about it in private? We don't talk about the intolerance and the weakness in ourselves. We don't talk about the 'secrets' in society. What exactly do we talk about?
This is just my thought on just a few things I see as an American outside in Europe. I could go on, but that would mean a book!
Would you?
What would you say if I told you I liked Europe better? What would you tell me if I admitted I never wanted to live in America again knowing what I know now? Would you hate me? Call me unpatriotic or anti American? There are things I see and things I hear that forces me to rethink what I understand as a human being and as an American. Events take my eyes and open them wide to the images I didn't know existed before. Would you stop talking to me because our opinions and life experiences change? I think some would because it has already happened.
Let me share with you a story. It is a story of a friend I used to talk to on an everyday basis. Politics, the weather, issues at hand and mundane things that went on in our lives. For the most part our conversations flowed effortlessly and rarely did our opinions differ. We were both Americans just living in different states. However when I moved to the Netherlands things started changing. Conversations dwindled and opinions became very different. We don't talk about politics and the issues that face America and the world any more. We don't talk about priorities in our lives; we actually hardly talk any more. Why? Because while I changed when my life changed with the move her life stood still. My eyes opened to a whole new world over here in Europe. Their mentality is different as is the cultures they live in. More open, honest, brutally honest at times, and not afraid to say what they think of any country or people. I think I have developed said mentality in living here and dealing with Europeans on a day to day basis. If I think the American government is doing a horrible job or if I think the American people don't do enough in questioning their government or standing up to it I will say so and have.
This friend tells me it would be easier to live in America with my Dutch partner. How? I cannot bring my partner over as the law is written now. My relationship with my partner is not protected under that law. It is here however. She tells me that I could easily find work while she struggles to find one herself. She tells me things will get better over there while the powers that be won’t show a way that it will and that is OK with her. How can it be OK? Don't you write your congressman, vote in elections and do everything you, as a citizen, can do to make changes? No, I do not, I am just one voice so what does it matter is what I am told. Yet in the next breath she complains about the lack of change. If I speak of how her voice does matter, or if I express an opinion about the government I am told that it doesn't work that way, I do not understand. Why do I not understand, just because I live over seas? I am still an American; I still watch and read the news. What goes on in that country does affect me as I am still a citizen of that country, yet somehow I do not understand? She gets flustered when I mention anything that doesn't flow in her mind. So, now as it stands we barely speak. We do not agree on much of anything and in her opinion I am too blunt, too opinionated and lack the ability to see America as the land of the free and opportunity.
Am I distracted by the Atlantic Ocean and the distance it brings? Am I blinded to some truth that the European culture covers up? I will tell you this. I do pay attention to the news everyday, both here and what goes on in America. If I do not understand something in which I have heard I will research it up to better follow it. I did live in America. I lived as an upper middle class citizen and have had such struggles that nearly landed me on the streets. I have been ignorant to the ways of the country and the government and have been ignorant to the way outsiders viewed my country. I have also opened my eyes and had painful days in accepting the reality of my country, my home. I have seen America through an Americans eyes and I now see America as a non American sees it. Is this cause to say I am too blunt and opinionated? Do I really lack the ability to understand America and the world around it? I do not see it as the land of the free. If it were I would not have to tell my partner I cannot bring you to my country. I do not see as the land of opportunity unless you are wealthy and buy that opportunity. I do not see how the American public does all it can to be active with its government and I lack the ability to understand why they bitch when the same government does something they don't approve of.
So, in all this would you hate me if I told you I did not like the country I came from, that I was disappointed in the choices it has made? Would you be disgusted if I told you I was willing to give up my American citizenship in order to be a Dutch National? Does that make me unpatriotic or anti American if I better my life by doing so? This friend is just one of a few people who look at me in a disgusted manner because my views and opinions have changed. What does that mean to me? Will I lose more people I thought friends because I no longer believe in America? These things I ponder, these things make my heart ache. Would I hate me if I looked at this the way they do?
Let me share with you a story. It is a story of a friend I used to talk to on an everyday basis. Politics, the weather, issues at hand and mundane things that went on in our lives. For the most part our conversations flowed effortlessly and rarely did our opinions differ. We were both Americans just living in different states. However when I moved to the Netherlands things started changing. Conversations dwindled and opinions became very different. We don't talk about politics and the issues that face America and the world any more. We don't talk about priorities in our lives; we actually hardly talk any more. Why? Because while I changed when my life changed with the move her life stood still. My eyes opened to a whole new world over here in Europe. Their mentality is different as is the cultures they live in. More open, honest, brutally honest at times, and not afraid to say what they think of any country or people. I think I have developed said mentality in living here and dealing with Europeans on a day to day basis. If I think the American government is doing a horrible job or if I think the American people don't do enough in questioning their government or standing up to it I will say so and have.
This friend tells me it would be easier to live in America with my Dutch partner. How? I cannot bring my partner over as the law is written now. My relationship with my partner is not protected under that law. It is here however. She tells me that I could easily find work while she struggles to find one herself. She tells me things will get better over there while the powers that be won’t show a way that it will and that is OK with her. How can it be OK? Don't you write your congressman, vote in elections and do everything you, as a citizen, can do to make changes? No, I do not, I am just one voice so what does it matter is what I am told. Yet in the next breath she complains about the lack of change. If I speak of how her voice does matter, or if I express an opinion about the government I am told that it doesn't work that way, I do not understand. Why do I not understand, just because I live over seas? I am still an American; I still watch and read the news. What goes on in that country does affect me as I am still a citizen of that country, yet somehow I do not understand? She gets flustered when I mention anything that doesn't flow in her mind. So, now as it stands we barely speak. We do not agree on much of anything and in her opinion I am too blunt, too opinionated and lack the ability to see America as the land of the free and opportunity.
Am I distracted by the Atlantic Ocean and the distance it brings? Am I blinded to some truth that the European culture covers up? I will tell you this. I do pay attention to the news everyday, both here and what goes on in America. If I do not understand something in which I have heard I will research it up to better follow it. I did live in America. I lived as an upper middle class citizen and have had such struggles that nearly landed me on the streets. I have been ignorant to the ways of the country and the government and have been ignorant to the way outsiders viewed my country. I have also opened my eyes and had painful days in accepting the reality of my country, my home. I have seen America through an Americans eyes and I now see America as a non American sees it. Is this cause to say I am too blunt and opinionated? Do I really lack the ability to understand America and the world around it? I do not see it as the land of the free. If it were I would not have to tell my partner I cannot bring you to my country. I do not see as the land of opportunity unless you are wealthy and buy that opportunity. I do not see how the American public does all it can to be active with its government and I lack the ability to understand why they bitch when the same government does something they don't approve of.
So, in all this would you hate me if I told you I did not like the country I came from, that I was disappointed in the choices it has made? Would you be disgusted if I told you I was willing to give up my American citizenship in order to be a Dutch National? Does that make me unpatriotic or anti American if I better my life by doing so? This friend is just one of a few people who look at me in a disgusted manner because my views and opinions have changed. What does that mean to me? Will I lose more people I thought friends because I no longer believe in America? These things I ponder, these things make my heart ache. Would I hate me if I looked at this the way they do?
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