Would you?

What would you say if I told you I liked Europe better? What would you tell me if I admitted I never wanted to live in America again knowing what I know now? Would you hate me? Call me unpatriotic or anti American? There are things I see and things I hear that forces me to rethink what I understand as a human being and as an American. Events take my eyes and open them wide to the images I didn't know existed before. Would you stop talking to me because our opinions and life experiences change? I think some would because it has already happened.
Let me share with you a story. It is a story of a friend I used to talk to on an everyday basis. Politics, the weather, issues at hand and mundane things that went on in our lives. For the most part our conversations flowed effortlessly and rarely did our opinions differ. We were both Americans just living in different states. However when I moved to the Netherlands things started changing. Conversations dwindled and opinions became very different. We don't talk about politics and the issues that face America and the world any more. We don't talk about priorities in our lives; we actually hardly talk any more. Why? Because while I changed when my life changed with the move her life stood still. My eyes opened to a whole new world over here in Europe. Their mentality is different as is the cultures they live in. More open, honest, brutally honest at times, and not afraid to say what they think of any country or people. I think I have developed said mentality in living here and dealing with Europeans on a day to day basis. If I think the American government is doing a horrible job or if I think the American people don't do enough in questioning their government or standing up to it I will say so and have.
This friend tells me it would be easier to live in America with my Dutch partner. How? I cannot bring my partner over as the law is written now. My relationship with my partner is not protected under that law. It is here however. She tells me that I could easily find work while she struggles to find one herself. She tells me things will get better over there while the powers that be won’t show a way that it will and that is OK with her. How can it be OK? Don't you write your congressman, vote in elections and do everything you, as a citizen, can do to make changes? No, I do not, I am just one voice so what does it matter is what I am told. Yet in the next breath she complains about the lack of change. If I speak of how her voice does matter, or if I express an opinion about the government I am told that it doesn't work that way, I do not understand. Why do I not understand, just because I live over seas? I am still an American; I still watch and read the news. What goes on in that country does affect me as I am still a citizen of that country, yet somehow I do not understand? She gets flustered when I mention anything that doesn't flow in her mind. So, now as it stands we barely speak. We do not agree on much of anything and in her opinion I am too blunt, too opinionated and lack the ability to see America as the land of the free and opportunity.
Am I distracted by the Atlantic Ocean and the distance it brings? Am I blinded to some truth that the European culture covers up? I will tell you this. I do pay attention to the news everyday, both here and what goes on in America. If I do not understand something in which I have heard I will research it up to better follow it. I did live in America. I lived as an upper middle class citizen and have had such struggles that nearly landed me on the streets. I have been ignorant to the ways of the country and the government and have been ignorant to the way outsiders viewed my country. I have also opened my eyes and had painful days in accepting the reality of my country, my home. I have seen America through an Americans eyes and I now see America as a non American sees it. Is this cause to say I am too blunt and opinionated? Do I really lack the ability to understand America and the world around it? I do not see it as the land of the free. If it were I would not have to tell my partner I cannot bring you to my country. I do not see as the land of opportunity unless you are wealthy and buy that opportunity. I do not see how the American public does all it can to be active with its government and I lack the ability to understand why they bitch when the same government does something they don't approve of.
So, in all this would you hate me if I told you I did not like the country I came from, that I was disappointed in the choices it has made? Would you be disgusted if I told you I was willing to give up my American citizenship in order to be a Dutch National? Does that make me unpatriotic or anti American if I better my life by doing so? This friend is just one of a few people who look at me in a disgusted manner because my views and opinions have changed. What does that mean to me? Will I lose more people I thought friends because I no longer believe in America? These things I ponder, these things make my heart ache. Would I hate me if I looked at this the way they do?