Changing the Masses

Who decides what is right for any culture? Isn't it the culture itself which decides what is good and true and what is wrong and distasteful? Here I sit in a now heated debate over that very subject. What is appropriate and what is unacceptable behavior, who decides and who should benefit from such a decision.
I was once a woman who looked at any other culture as fascinating yet alien and abnormal. If it was different, it wasn't right. I moved to such a culture where I didn't know it, understand it and wanted it to change for my needs. Naive and foolish is what I and my thoughts were. When you leave your native land for another country for whatever reason you need to leave behind the notions that you can change the country and people you are moving to. Am I, the foreigner allowed to judge the habits of another when it is perfectly acceptable to them and not to me? No, if this is the custom of that land then the stranger cannot come in and judge or change it.
So I sit here now, a little wiser and more understanding of my surroundings, in the midst of an on line chat with expats such as myself debating on whether or not the way women in this country behave and speak is acceptable or not. I mean not to judge or categorize an entire populous of people in what I write; I only intend to write of my observations and experiences on the matter, the topic being the differences between women in Europe and American women. European women have, from my experiences, a way to be direct and to the point. They feel no need to beat around the bush and tip toe to make life a little easier for someone else. They speak their minds, and lack the ability to paint a pretty picture when the art work should be ugly. If you ask them what they think, they will tell you, even if it is to say you look bad in this or your opinion is naive and narrow minded.
The word tact has come up more times than it should and rudeness is another word being used to describe a class of women who in reality are kind and attentive. They are not indifferent to those around them and are not rude when they speak. They are women who are strong in their convictions, tasteful and delicate when need be and direct and honest to whom they encounter. Is there anything wrong with that? But if someone comes across the pond who is brought up dainty, taught to beat around the bush and avoid those toes at all costs and start pointing fingers and bashing the behavior of others it gets a little annoying and can cause arguments to ensue.
American women were raised differently than European women, why? Simply that their life experiences are different, their histories are by no means similar. It makes for living and raising very diverse. Does it mean that either is right or wrong? No, it shouldn't but it does mean you should respect the other culture and leave your eyes open to understand them as a whole and as an individual. Stating that all American women are weak too opinionated and uneducated to back up that opinion is also something one should not do. Do you know each American and for that matter do you know every European? Judging and demanding change is unreasonable and wrong.
I have heard conversations where Americans were generalized and put down for this reason or that. I have heard similar things when it came to the Europeans. There should be no generalizing at all. We are different and that is OK. It is acceptable to live differently, act and speak to what we know. So why go into someone’s home and tell them how they should raise their kids and cook food? Would anyone appreciate it if it were done to them? Probably not yet so many do it. As in this heated debate. Such cruel things are spoken to an entire class of people and for what reason, ignorance and the refusal to accept change and adapt to your surroundings? They live in a country not their own and expect people to make it as though it is. They demand change when there is no reason to ask for such a thing. You choose to leave then you must accept your decision and adapt to the place you live now and not try and change the masses to suit you.
Here is a thought to ponder. I read in this chat that they don't have to like, accept or adapt to the differences between them, the expats, and the culture they put themselves in. They will go on as they are and if they don't like the way people are here they will just avoid them all together. Wouldn't that alienate you and make your life miserable? The way people speak about each other and the places from which they come can sound so hateful and discriminatory. They expect it to be ok to speak about people in such a way that leaves others to believe they are barbarians or people unable to blend with others and get along with. Why expect it to be ok to say such things to others when in the very next sentence hate when people do it to you?